Jake Tapper: Ladies and gentleman, good evening and welcome to the first presidential debate of the 2024 election. President Biden, first question to you. Inflation has slowed, but prices remain high. What would you say to voters who feel they are worse off under your presidency?
Joe Biden: That’s a good question, Jake, but before I answer it there is business to clear up.
(Turns to Trump)
Donald, will you finally tell the truth and admit that you lost the 2024 election fair and square?
Trump: What? Huh? That’s against the rules! He’s not allowed to ask me any direct questions!
Joe Biden: Rules? You are gonna give a lecture about rules? What a bunch of malarkey! Answer the question, Donald! It is long past time that you told the truth!
Trump: You know that election was rigged!
Joe Biden: Don’t tell me what I know, asshole. I know that you are a disgrace to the office you once held.
(Turns to Tapper)
Jake, there is no point debating a man whose whole candidacy is premised on a lie. I’ll be back at the White House if anybody needs me.
(Walks off stage)
Tapper: Wait! Uh….ladies and gentlemen….uh…..
****FIVE MONTHS LATER*******
Tapper: Ladies and gentlemen, the polls have only just closed in California, but our projection desk is ready to call this a landslide for the Biden-Harris campaign. It was close until June, but after Biden simply spanked Trump in June’s debate, the country seemed to wake up from its walking coma and realize that Trump is just a worthless sack of…..
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